Research shows that grateful people tend to be healthy and happy. They exhibit lower levels of stress and depression, cope better with adversity and sleep better. They also tend to be happier and more satisfied with life. Even their partners tend to be more content with their relationships. All the research points to an attitude of gratitude as being an important thread in living a good life.
In the previous article we focused on building resilience. Having a grateful outlook will also assist in building your resilience levels. John Henry Jowet, an influential British Protestant preacher, said: ‘Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.’ You might ask yourself if there is value in living with gratitude. Gratitude can become a way of life, and by developing the simple habit of counting our blessings, we can enhance the degree to which we are truly blessed.
Why is gratitude important?
In an article on gratitude by Psychology Today, gratitude is described as a spontaneous feeling but, increasingly, research demonstrates its value as a practice – that is, making conscious efforts to count one’s blessings. Research shows that people can deliberately cultivate gratitude – and there are important social and personal benefits in doing so.
Here is a great quote from Psychology Today that sums it up well: ‘Gratitude is an emotion expressing appreciation for what one has – as opposed to, for example, a consumer-driven emphasis on what one wants. Gratitude is getting a great deal of attention as a facet of positive psychology: Studies show that we can deliberately cultivate gratitude, and that we can increase our well-being and happiness by doing so. In addition, gratefulness – and especially the expression of it to others – is associated with increased energy, optimism and empathy.’
How can we find gratitude?
-
- Intentionally choose it. Gratitude will never be a result of your next purchase, success or accomplishment. It is available in your heart right now. And you will never find gratitude in life until you intentionally decide to choose it.
- Count your blessings. A new day, a warm bed, a loving spouse, a child in your life, a unique personality or a special talent. You have wonderful things in your life already. Gratitude quickly sets in when we begin to spend a quiet moment each day remembering them.
- Create more opportunities for gratefulness. Get out and create more opportunities for gratefulness. Volunteer for a charity. Go for more walks. Get out in nature. The possibilities are endless!
- Stop focusing on what you don’t have. Too many people never realise gratitude because they spend so much mental energy focused on what they don’t have. Throw away catalogues and advertisements that inevitably promise you more fulfilment and joy in life. These things are not sold in stores – they never have been, never will be.
- Stop and reframe. Complaints and negative thoughts can sometimes seem like the norm of what’s going on in your head. Using the reframe technique, as described in a previous article, take a moment to change the negative thinking and reframe your complaint or negative thought. You will generate the energy to do what is necessary.
- Embrace humility. Humility is an essential ingredient in gratitude. A humble heart finds satisfaction in the gifts it already possesses and demands less from others and life. Remember that no matter what your accomplishments, your life contains no more inherent value than the person sitting next to you.
- Find gratitude in difficulty. It is easy to be grateful when things are going well. It can be more difficult during the trials of life: Death, disease, losing your job, rejection or failure. The truth is that no one is exempt from the trials of life, but good can always be found in even the worst of times. This process of remembering how difficult life used to be and how far we have come sets up an explicit contrast that is fertile ground for gratefulness.
- Say thank you. When someone does something nice for you, no matter how small, try to remember to say thank you. And really mean it. Sometimes you might think about something nice that someone did for you. Perhaps you remember during your gratitude session. When you do, pick up the phone and call the person, just to say thanks.
- Keep a gratitude journal. Write down your positive thoughts to further focus your attention on the subject. I have been coaching people for several years and this is a powerful technique to use. It can be as simple as getting a notebook or diary to write down your thoughts. Or use notes or any other diction app on your phone to ‘write down’ your thoughts using the spoken word. This really has helped many to turn a corner in their gratitude practice!
To the unknown author of the following poem, thank you for providing a guide to being more grateful:
Be thankful
Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfilment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.
~ Author unknown ~
References
https://www.brucebradley.com/food-for-thought/7-simple-tips-for-living-a-life-filled-with-gratitude
https://www.fastcompany.com/90436609/how-to-make-gratitude-a-way-of-life
https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/basics/gratitude
