When the world gets too big and you feel out of control, remember one thing – make it smaller for yourself and start focussing on the things you can control.
Sometimes in our lives we are confronted with the reality that we are not in control of the world around us. Controlling what you can, might not seem like much, but it is an essential strategy for going forward.
It is the first step in moving from a reactive life to a proactive one – and it is the first step in making the most of your current circumstances. What circumstances, you may ask? Here is a list of a few things you may not have considered that make you feel out of control:
- Covid-19: Will I get sick? Will I or someone I love die?
- Protests, violence and riots: Will any of this happen in my town?
- Natural disasters: How can I cope with this too?
- Small business closures: Business owners watched helplessly as their companies have been ordered to shut down, raising concerns if they will be financially ruined.
- Eskom: The impact of loadshedding on the quality of life, lack of water and food that perish.
- Job uncertainty: I must provide for my family. How will I pay the bills and buy food in this current economy and high living costs?
So, how do you respond when the world is in chaos? How do you begin to move forward?
Firstly, take back control of what you can control – even in the smallest of ways.
Take back control
Although you do not have control over what is happening in the world around you, you have control over how you think about it. By changing your perspective, you can help yourself cope and move forward with positivity.
STEP BACK FROM YOUR THOUGHTS
When you are angry, sad, fearful or experiencing a mixture of these emotions, it’s easy for the negative spiral to begin. When you are in the middle of a crisis, you need to realise it is just thoughts and they seem like they are true. After all, they are merely thoughts. They do not predict the future, and they are often untrue.
In reality, bad things do not always happen to you. Everyone goes through trials. Stressful times are temporary. Thus, you don’t need to respond to your negative and catastrophic thoughts. Just remember, this too shall pass.
CHOOSE THE RIGHT PEOPLE
Those who dwell on the negative may not be the best people to have around during a crisis. Lately, we are constantly overwhelmed with bad news. The negativity can be debilitating. Although it’s not easy, tune out the noise. Focus on what you want to achieve in your life and career. Replace bad thoughts with positive ones. The more time you allocate towards constructive contemplations centred around self-improvement, the less time you will spend pondering about matters that just wear you down.
People who empathetically listen without judgement are the best choice of companionship during hard times. Sometimes it is good to ask for help or to delegate tasks, especially when you feel overwhelmed by all your obligations. It’s important to be heard and supported and to keep the negative thoughts at bay.
IF THINGS ARE AWFUL, YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL AWFUL
You can control how you view, process and react to events. Most people handle stress and unfortunate circumstances with a panicked response. They dwell on the worst-case scenario happening. Rather take a deep breath, pause and then analyse the situation.
Deep, slow breathing when you are upset, is like clicking the restart option on your computer when you can’t figure out how to correct its problems. When the brain is overloaded, it needs to be reset before it can think clearly.
Also, look at your thoughts head-on with clarity and objectivity. Even if you’re in a tough spot, you need to find the mental fortitude to think of positive solutions to make things better.
DON’T COMPARE
People tend to brag about and broadcast on social media all the awesome things that are happening in their lives and careers. You then falsely assume that everyone else is doing great, while you are personally struggling. You are comparing yourself to something that is not real.
Mentally tough folks don’t take the obstacles, setbacks and hurdles personally. Everyone gets rejected, doors slam in their faces, they lose out on a promotion or are not called back for a second interview. Mentally strong individuals recognise that it’s all part of the game they are playing.
Don’t compare yourselves to what you see of others! You cannot compare your inside to the outside of others.
LET GO OF UNIMPORTANT THINGS
Some things are less important than others and if it contributes to the chaos in your life, it may be time to put these things aside for a while. Scratch these tasks from your to-do list. The trick is to take these things in the stride and not let petty annoyances ruin your day. If you hold onto that negative energy, it won’t let you focus on what really matters most to you.
Mentally strong people brush these nuisances off their shoulders and move on with their lives. They save their strength for the important struggles, which yield meaningful results.
Many people are having a hard time, and I can definitely relate to feeling like I could lose it any minute some days. But how you respond to these feelings will affect your ability to bounce back from being overwhelmed and move forward with the things you need to do. Practising the above strategies will empower you to persevere, even when you feel like you are out of control.
SURRENDER THE NOTION OF CONTROL
Our modern lives have shaped us to seek control over everything. At work, you feel the need to control your projects, the budget, the schedule, your subordinates, the outcome of your efforts and even the outcome of other people’s efforts. And at home, you desire control over what is on the television, the outcome of your favourite team’s game, the actions of your partners and your kids, and the list goes on.
Things do go your way quite often, but sometimes they don’t go your way. The quest for control perhaps stems from your desire for certainty. And who else but you can guarantee certainty, right? Letting go is a form of strength and not a sign of weakness. It means you do not fight to achieve an outcome of your choice. It shows that you are ready to accept any outcome that comes your way because you are not afraid of uncertainty. And once you accept uncertainty, you are at peace.
If the Covid-19 pandemic proved something, it’s how autonomous and out of control the world really is. Just because things are going your way, doesn’t mean that you made it so. So, let go of the need to control the outcome and you will also be letting go of the stress.
Summary
There are real problems in the world, but there is also joy. It means striking balances in all that you do: Focus on your career, but don’t make your career your life. Be prudent, but don’t obsess over money. Spend time with your friends and family without worrying about their problems. Hanging on to the steering wheel of life creates the impression that you have control – you don’t. So, make your world smaller and just live.
References
- https://candrews.medium.com/can-we-have-control-in-a-chaotic-world-260dbfd9efbd
- https://letlovepbc.com/mindfulness/your-harmony-5-ways-to-thrive-in-a-chaotic-world/
- https://scrubbing.in/how-to-cope-when-the-world-feels-like-total-chaos/
- https://welstand.solidariteit.co.za/en/how-to-create-order-in-your-chaotic-life/
- https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackkelly/2020/06/03/9-ways-to-stay-mentally-strong-in-this-chaotic-world/?sh=1a6d2687210d
