It is impossible to exist without at least some level of stress every day, even while you are on vacation. The only person who does not experience stress, is a dead person!
We know that too much stress can be bad for you. It can affect both your physical and mental health. It is also extremely personal: Different people find different situations stressful, and also find that different ways of coping may be more or less helpful for them. Just as you likely can’t sprint for long periods of time without rest, your body can’t run at a heightened state of alertness, focus and performance without rest.
Stress isn’t all bad – it helps us avoid danger, adjust to new situations and cope with challenges. Think of it as a normal reaction that ignites certain physical and mental responses in the body.
However, stress becomes a problem when it is chronic – when instead of coping with the thing that’s stressing you out, you let all those challenging thoughts and feelings percolate. That’s when it starts to take a toll on your emotional and physical health.
Signs and complications of stress
It’s normal to face stressful situations in life. Stress affects everyone. The important thing is to learn to manage it, so that our stress levels don’t become overwhelming.
HOW DO I KNOW I HAVE STRESS?
Let’s look at the physical, emotional and behavioural effects of stress.
The physical effects of stress can include:
- Sweating.
- Pain in the back or chest.
- Cramps or muscle spasms.
- Fainting.
- Headaches.
- Nervous twitches.
- Pins and needles sensations.
Emotional reactions can include:
- Anger.
- Burnout.
- Concentration issues.
- Fatigue.
- A feeling of insecurity.
- Forgetfulness.
- Irritability.
- Nail biting.
- Restlessness.
- Sadness.
Stress-associated behaviours include:
- Food cravings and eating too much or too little.
- Sudden angry outbursts.
- Drug and alcohol abuse.
- Higher tobacco consumption.
- Social withdrawal.
- Frequent crying.
- Relationship problems.
CHRONIC STRESS
If stress becomes chronic, it can lead to several complications, including:
- Anxiety.
- Depression.
- Heart disease.
- High blood pressure.
- Lower immunity against diseases.
- Muscular aches.
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
- Sleeping difficulties.
- Upset stomach.
- Loss of libido.
How to manage stress
THE FOUR A’S MODEL
Managing stress isn’t a ‘one-size-fits-all’ system. Depending on the type and regularity of your stress, your stress management regiment will look vastly different from another individual’s. But it’s helpful to have a toolkit of stress management techniques on hand, should you need them.
The following model on how to manage stress is an extremely helpful toolkit.
Practise the four A’s of stress management:
- Avoid.
- Alter.
- Adapt.
- Accept.
While stress is an automatic response from your nervous system, some stressors arise at predictable times – for example, your commute to work, a meeting with your boss or family gatherings. When handling such predictable stressors, you can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose in any given scenario, it’s helpful to think of these four A’s.
AVOID UNNECESSARY STRESS
It’s not healthy to avoid a stressful situation that needs to be addressed, but you may be surprised by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.
- Learn how to say no: Know your limits and stick to them – whether in your personal or professional life, taking on more than you can handle is a sure-fire recipe for stress. Distinguish between the ‘shoulds’ and the ‘musts’ and, when possible, say no to taking on too much.
- Avoid people who stress you out: If someone consistently causes stress in your life, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship.
- Take control of your environment: If the evening news makes you anxious, turn off the TV. If traffic makes you tense, take a longer but less-travelled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.
- Pare down your to-do list: Analyse your schedule, responsibilities and daily tasks. If you’ve got too much on your plate, drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.
ALTER THE SITUATION
If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.
- Express your feelings instead of bottling them up: If something or someone is bothering you, be more assertive and communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say upfront that you only have five minutes to talk. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the stress will increase.
- Be willing to compromise: When you ask someone to change their behaviour, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
- Create a balanced schedule: All work and no play are a recipe for burnout. Try to find a balance between work and family life, social activities and solitary pursuits, daily responsibilities and downtime.
ADAPT TO THE STRESSOR
If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.
- Reframe problems: Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favourite radio station or enjoy some alone time.
- Look at the big picture: Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
- Adjust your standards: Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others and learn to be okay with ‘good enough’.
- Practise gratitude: When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.
ACCEPT THE THINGS YOU CAN’T CHANGE
- Some sources of stress are unavoidable: You can’t prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than railing against a situation you can’t change.
- Don’t try to control the uncontrollable: Many things in life are beyond our control, particularly the behaviour of other people. Rather than stressing about it, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.
- Look for the upside: When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.
- Learn to forgive: Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.
- Share your feelings: Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation. Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist.
In conclusion
It is not possible to remove all stress completely, and you may need to learn to live with it, at least to some extent. Fortunately, there is evidence that some level of stress is actually helpful and can improve performance – provided you believe that this is the case.
Elite athletes, for example, often believe that adrenaline, one of the main stress hormones, is helpful in improving performance. It is, after all, the ‘flight-or-fight’ hormone, so you can harness it to help you to ‘fight’. Changing your mindset to embrace adrenaline can be a good start to changing how you view stress, especially if you have taken steps to reduce and avoid it more generally.
Your stress management tools should serve you and not add to your stress. It should feel natural and should fit into your daily routine. This means you should choose stress management practices that are affordable, convenient and fit into your schedule.
References
https://www.betterup.com/blog/stress-management-techniques
https://www.betterup.com/hs-fs/hubfs/infographic-stress-management-tactics.pngwidth=1999&name=infographic-stress-management-tactics.png
https://www.everydayhealth.com/stress/guide/relief/
https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/stress-tips.html